Zombies? Are you kidding me?
by mattythemessenger
Summary: It was a normal day at Mckinely. Well it was until the undead barged in and ruined everything.


**I always wanted to write a Zombie fic. **

**This first chapter just explains things. The story takes place a few weeks after losing Regionals. **

**There is establised Klaine, Finchel, Tike, and Luck. **

**Ships that are going to happen along the story are Britana, Quartie, and maybe Wemma. They are subject to change.**

**When you see a number in between '()' that means there's a footnote at the bottom.**

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><p>June 21st was a fairly normal day in McKinley<p>

It was Tuesday of the last week of school. Everyone was excited and everyone was planning out their summer instead of paying attention in class.

Rachel called the Glee Club for a last minute meeting during Lunch.

"As everyone knows this is the last week of school! I know our last meeting is going to be on Thursday I got some presents for everyone I want to pass out! I wanted to use Thursday to plan our strategy for next year!" Rachel explained. What she didn't know was that there was never going to be a meeting.

"Would you hurry it up hobbit? Me and Britt need to get our eating on." Santana sneered. No one gets between her and her food.

"Yeah! It's enchilada day and I promised Lord Tubbington some in as a reward for not smoking for 2 weeks. I'm so proud." Brittany said cheerily oblivious to the strange stares everyone gave her. (1)

"Um…Yeah," Kurt said still trying to figure out what Brittany had said. "Rachel, what are our presents?"

"Well, I got everyone something that I think would benefit them." Rachel said.

"If you got me some golf clubs I swear I will go all kinds of Lima Heights on your ass." Santana sneered.

"No! I got you a…" Rachel started but was interrupted by the voice of Sue Sylvester.

"Hello students. I have an important announcement." She said over the microphone. "My Cheerios, Will Shuester's little group of misfits, and football team to the Gym. _**Immediately**_"

Mr. Shue gathered up all of New Directions quickly and hurried over to the gym. Clearly wondering what the hell was going on.

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><p>The gym was filled with everyone Sue had called. Though a few of the Cheerios and the football players were missing.<p>

"Good afternoon students." Principal Figgins started. "I know you're angry about missing lunch."

"I WANT MY ENCHILADAS." Azimo yelled from the stands, receiving multiple high fives and grunts of agreement.

"But I have some news that Coach Sylvester gave to me. At first I didn't quite belive it but the evidence she gave me where…too real to ignore." He stated getting all the attention of the students.

"There's…been…an out brake….dead…" He stuttered not knowing how to start.

"Oh, move over you buffoon." Sue Sylvester's voice roared over the gym. She pushed Figgins out the way grabbed the microphone. Her tone was as strict and viscous as ever. But her face showed an emotion no one could place.

"Listen up maggots." She yelled trying to regain the attention of the high schoolers. "There has been an out brake of an illness that brings the dead back to life and if they bite you. You will turn into mindless monstrosities like them." She said quickly and straight to the point.

"That's right kids. We have a Zombie Apocalypse going on." She said confirming their beliefs.

The gym was in absolute chaos.

There were Cheerleaders bawling holding on to their football player boyfriend or each other.

Boys were trying to look strong while they were wetting their pants in fear.

Teachers trying to calm down the kids but some were joining the students in the hysteria.

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><p>New Directions' reaction to the news was different.<p>

Though Rachel did let out a tear over the fact that all her hard work to become a Broadway star was over she quickly got a hold of herself and turned to Finn for guidance, who didn't have any idea about what to do.

Quinn sat there with a serious look in her eye clearly thinking about someone other then herself.

Puck grabbed Lauren's hand and simply stated, "Well, I guess we're lucky that we're so badass that the Zombies wouldn't dare touch us."

She smirked at him and nodded. When she turned around he snuck a peak at Quinn knew what she was thinking about and started wondering the same thing too. (2)

Santana looked straight at Brittany wondering what would become of them. Of her love for her.

Mike simply hugged Tina.

Jesse just sat there with a bored look on his face.

Artie sat there with an unreadable look on his face. Thanks to countless marathons of Left 4 Dead and Silent Hill he had a good idea of what to do in this situation. But he still felt lost.

Sam was like Artie. Only more extreme.

Thanks to the Zombie movie marathon on Halloween 2 years ago, playing countless Zombie games, reading every single 'What to do during a Zombie Apocalypse' at the library (which surprisingly had many) and planning this moment since age 12, he knew exactly what to do to save himself. But what he didn't plan when he was 12 was being in love.

Mercedes turned over to Sam and grabbed his hand, completely forgetting about their promise to keep their relationship a secret. He looked into her eyes and smiled at her. She smiled back.

Mr. Shue just stood with the rest of the teachers. He turned to Emma who was crying. He didn't know what to say.

Kurt sat there with determined look on his face. He wasn't going to let Zombies kill him. No, he was going to die of old age after years of Zombie killing with 2 kids, 4 grandkids, and Blaine at his side.

_**Blaine**_.

"Blaine!" Kurt yelled out.

"What?" Tina asked still holding on to Mike.

"We have to save him! He's still at Dalton! We have to…" Kurt yelled before being interrupted by sues confetti cannon.

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><p>All the teachers were trying to calm down the students. They were failing horribly. Someone actually punched Will in the face.<p>

Sue finally found her confetti cannon and shot it towards the kids.

"Shut your ungodly mouths and listen to me!" She roared. Clearly pissed at the fact she had so many whining babies in her presence.

The entire room went silent except for the occasional moan.

"Now, all of you are lucky. Thanks to the sources I have in the army and government I learned about this before most politicians. So we have the upper hand. You may be wondering why I felt the need to inform you and not just let you find out yourself when you get home to a bunch of mindless undead basterds munching on your family." She said.

The last sentence caused a girl to cry out and hug her friend.

"I decided to tell you because as much as it pains me. I need you maggots. Well, maybe not all of you. But some of you. You see now that the entire world as we know it is going to hell; we need a new world leader. And I am happy to accept the position that has been bestowed upon me." (3)

No one objected to this statement. As much as some would hate to admit if they had to choose their new world leader, Sue Sylvester would have been their first choice. Mostly because she would have found a way to kill off the rest of the competition anyway.

"But, I can't become leader without a group of followers who will help me kill these monsters and help me gain support. As much as it pains me to say, I need your assistance."

"So basically you want us to be your followers?" Finn yelled out.

"No Frankenteen, I want you to be my army. That's why I called you. The ones who I know will help me. Your little band of unicorns, My Cheerios, the Football team, and the gay bird group that has Porcelains' Hobbit boyfriend."

"The Warblers?" Kurt asked full of hope.

"That's right Porcelain. Me and Frodo met up before Regional's. I grew fond of him. He looks like a survivor and I want him on my team along with his merry band of pigeons. That's why we're going to save them from Gay Hogwarts." She explained.

"Wait," Kurt began still trying to process the Gay Hogwarts comment. "When did you and Blaine meet up?"

"Well Porcelain, Frodo was in the Lima bean when I talked to him." She replied. (4)

"Anyway. You people are lucky because you know of the news hours before it the new stations will announce it. We need to take this time and use it against the enemy."

"Who exactly is the enemy? The Zombies? The virus in general? The government?" Sam asked.

"All of the above."

"What about the rest of the school? Are we going to let them die?" Mercedes yelled out clearly angry at the selfishness of this situation.

Sam turned to her. He just fell in love with her even more.

"Only if they can prove to me they can be useful to my army."

"That's bull shi-" Mercedes started but stopped by Sam's hand around her waist. She took that as a sign that keeping their relationship a secret was now irrelevant.

"Porcelain, you're going to have to go save Frodo and his pigeons at Gay Hogwarts alone. I'd go myself but I have to create a battle plan with William, Ginger, and the Beiste."

"Excuse me?" Beiste snapped.

"Alone? I don't think so." Finn said.

"Finn sit down, I'll be fine."

"No I'm going. Dad will kill me if I let you go alone."

"You just called me dad."

The turned around and sure enough there was Burt, Carol, Rachel's Dad Joey and Brian, (5) Quinn's mom, Sam's siblings, and everyone else's parents.

Rachel let go of Finn's hand and ran towards her Dad's who engulfed her into a big hug.

"Dad! How long have you been there?" Kurt asked.

"Since Miss Sylvester said you were to go save Blaine and the res of the Warblers yourself. Finn's right. I would never have let you go alone. He's going with you."

"If he's going I'm going." Rachel said.

"What? No you will stay here where it's safe!" Her dad Brian said.

"But dad!"

"Let her go Brian." Joey said.

"But…" Brian replied.

"She's going to find a way to go anyway."

"…fine."

"Oh thank you Daddy and Dad!" Rachel went to hug her two fathers who one of them was trying hard not to cry. (Hint: It's Brian)

Kurt stood there watching the whole exchange. He wanted to cry. He wanted what that family had. He wanted that with Blaine. His heart ached. He needed to go save Blaine.

"If Rachel's going I am too." Everyone turned to see Jesse.

"I'm not leaving my white boy alone. I'm sorry dad. I have to go with Kurt."

"I understand." Her father replied.

"I'm going too." Sam said.

"Sam? Why do you want to go? I mean I'm happy you want to the more help the better, but why?"

"Because I couldn't live with myself if something happened to Mercedes."

"…HOLD UP. You two are _dating? _Since when? Mercedes you didn't tell me!" Rachel squealed.

"Well, we wanted it to be a secret. Something that was ours and ours alone. (6) Mercedes said taking Sam's hand.

"What do you think Kurt?" Rachel said. "You haven't said anything for a while."

"I kinda knew already."

"How?" Sam asked surprised.

"Well, 'Cedes is the happiest I have ever seen her. I knew something was up. I also saw you two hitting it off at prom."

"…oh"

"Now that that's out of the way. Can we please go save my boyfriend?"

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><p><strong>(1) Because everyone loves enchiladas! <strong>

**(2) Yes, they're thinking about Beth. If you don't know who that is I don't blame you. She wasen't metiond a lot in season 2.**

**(3) If you can tell me what show that refrence that's from you get a muffin.**

**(4) If you want to read about that conversation in the Lima Bean go to my story called "Times Sue Sylvester assisted Blaine Warbler.**

**(5) Yeah I named them Joey and Brian. Sue me. (If you get why you get a cookie)**

**(6) If you can tell me what song that's from you get a hug.**

**Now I know this was kinda boring and you're thinking 'Where's the gore? Where's the blood?' don't worry that'll be in chapter 2. This was too long for my liking but I didn't know where too stop. Anyway I'll try to update once a week so bare with me!**

**I don't like this that mcuh. but I promised myself I would post it. Sooooo**

**Please correct me in any mistakes or if you have any suggestions.**


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